Episode 8 Ego
Welcome back to the Living Musically Podcast. Today’s topic is one that I have fought all of my life. It seems no matter where I go and find myself in a bad situation someone’s ego is always at the heart of the matter. Ego is an unhealthy belief in our own importance.
What causes egotism? Ironically, a lack of self esteem can cause egotism. As a defense mechanism the ego steps up and makes up for the lack of self esteem. Issues arise when it goes too far.
I think there needs to be a healthy balance of ego and humbleness. Not enough ego and you have low self esteem. Too much ego and you’ll be surrounded by problems and negativity. It’s almost like driving a stick shift car. You need to know how to lift off the clutch and push the gas. Too much gas and you rev the engine, but if you let off the clutch too fast you stall. Too much Ego is like revving the engine, and it can send you spiraling out of control, spouting lies and trying to cover your mistakes. Unfortunately, we see this way too often in our world. However if you don’t have enough ego, you will stall and never get anywhere because your low self esteem will consume you and paralyze you from making any progress.
Starting this podcast has been a great example of trying to find balance. In general, I have pretty low self esteem. On top of that, I’m also worried about losing control over my ego and becoming what I hate, an egomaniac. So, I focus on preventing my ego from trying to balance out my low self esteem. Because of this, my low self esteem likes to point out things like I’m not really a recording engineer and have no business recording, who am I to think that I have a message to share, you get the picture. So I have had to let a little bit of ego in to balance that out to share my story and hopefully help all of you listening.
As a music teacher, I have to find the balance with my students as well. A lot of the techniques I teach require me to convince my students that they can do it first. It’s feeding their ego but in a productive, responsible manner.
If I introduce a concept by saying “This is nearly impossible” the chance of success is nearly 0. It’s like the Henry Ford quote “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t -- you’re right” Going in knowing you can do something is most of the battle.
I had a voice student who wanted to develop a natural vibrato while singing and then learn how to control it. It’s very typical for singers. The problem was she was so self conscious of how she sounded that she couldn’t focus on the technique I was trying to teach her. Her inner voice kept saying “There’s no vibrato there you’re never going to get this. It took time, but I eventually found a way to distract her inner voice that was driving down her self esteem and encourage her ego enough to relax her and all of a sudden she mastered the technique.
CEO Harold Geneen said “The egotist does not stumble about, knocking things off his desk. He does not stammer or drool. No, instead he becomes more and more arrogant, and some people not knowing what is underneath such an attitude mistake this arrogance for a sense of power and self confidence.”
This quote I think sums up our president Donald Trump. It doesn’t matter your political stance, it is very clear that Donald Trump is driven by his own ego. Over the years, his ego has given him a sense of self power and self confidence. In fact he wouldn’t be in this position without ego. His ego has not only fueled his presidential bid but has fueled his followers. He has used his egotism to feed the ego of his supporters to gain support. That has brought him to his current position as president of the United States. However, the problem with letting ego run your life is it hides the truth from you.
When we remove ego we’re left with the truth. In many cases it’s a defense mechanism. The problem is when ego goes too far. Ego is powerful. It can hide the truth from us. In fact, it can convince us that something is true even when it isn’t. It can also control us and we lose sight of what’s really going on. If we go back to the example of Donald Trump we can see this. Ever since the beginning of this pandemic, there have been daily press briefings. Instead of giving the facts of what’s going on and how we’re going to move forward, we are instead faced with back talk, and not answering questions. We have even heard how the viewer ratings of these briefings are so large that they rival season finales of reality shows. His ego has prevented him from seeing what’s important. How to get America, and the world through this crisis.
The problem is when ego goes too far. Ego is powerful. It can hide the truth from us. In fact, it can convince us that something is true even when it isn’t. During this global crisis, this is something that I witness everyday. Whether you like him or not, Donald Trump is so consumed by his own ego, each day in his press conferences he spends his time backtracking and trying to change comments he’s made in the past.
Just recently, direct deposits were made to Americans, others will receive checks. Mr. Trump found it necessary to delay the delivery of the checks just so his name could be on the check. The importance of feeding his ego just so his name was on the check delayed the delivery of the check to people who were relying on that money.
Getting back to music, ego can’t exist in music. No one is bigger than Music. With ego music can’t happen. It becomes a barrier preventing the beauty and pureness of music from blossoming, but at the same time, you need confidence to tackle new techniques. It’s a fine line that every musician needs to walk.
Ego is one of those topics that we will revisit. There’s so much to address and so many examples. But I feel that’s enough for today. Thank you for listening to the Living Musically Podcast. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast and share it with your friends and family. I’ll see you again next week Peace
